The rodent rebellion has been quashed.

I am pleased to announce that efforts to overthrow my reign by a contingent of rebels have been suppressed. Recently, it came to my attention that a group of neighborhood rodents - primarily mice and rabbits - had organized and developed a plan to oust me from my palace and bestow the kingdom upon some ridiculous little dog with bows in her hair. I have seen this dog out prancing about on a leash, which clearly demonstrates that she is an idiot; I can only assume the rodents intended to place this slobbering figurehead in power and rule from behind the scenes.

Fortunately for you, my loyal subjects, the rodent rebellion did not get very far. Fairbanks found one of their spies, a young rabbit whom they obviously thought we would overlook due to his age, and brought him into the palace for interrogation. We learned of their plan from this terrified bunny, who didn't even bother to try to resist long enough for any real torture to begin. The One Who Types insisted we release him unharmed.

Armed with the valuable information we extracted from the baby bunny spy, we managed to remain safe as the leaders of the rebellion were eliminated. Although my brother Nick is usually pretty useless, he proved his worth by beheading the leader of the mouse army and leaving his body in front of the palace to serve as warning to all the other rodents. It was actually pretty cool, although I wouldn't make a big deal out of it - we can't have Nick getting too full of himself.

Headless rodent rebellion leader

Anyway, the palace is secure, the rebels have been defeated and my sovereignty is stronger than ever. Unfortunately, Katherine was not killed during the fighting, but we can always hope a ceiling fan will fall on her or something.