How did we end up here?

When it came time to seek out a new palace, Nick and I each put together a list of the qualities we required in a new ambassador/caretaker.

Here is my list:

• Fashionable and polished, as is befitting of a representative for the queen and royal family
• A confident public speaker and diplomatic communicator
• Has great respect for the long-standing traditions of the royal house
• Completely lacking in ego; willing to put aside everything in service to the crown 
• An excellent strategist with experience quelling uprisings of all kinds
• A skilled brushist

Here is Nick's list:

• Nice

It has become clear to me that something went terribly wrong during the interview process.