Will the horror ever end?

It appears that invasions by the Keira, of which I wrote previously, are meant to be a regular occurrence. This in spite of my clear warnings to the One regarding potential consequences should the Keira be allowed back into the palace.

I have not yet determined exactly what sort of creature the Keira is. Fairbanks speculated that it may be some kind of weaponized mutant designed for a nefarious purpose we are unable to understand. It resembles the humans in features, but it is small and inarticulate and seems to have motor-control issues.

As you can see here, the Keira's limbs do not seem to be
controlled by its brain. It is possible it is controlled by a
 malfunctioning radio-frequency remote. I'll have
Fairbanks look into this.

It also eats a substance that has the consistency of my squishy food but does not smell appetizing at all. I ordered Katherine to eat some and report back, in the hopes that the Keira food might be toxic to cats, but she refused.

Here is a picture of the Shadowbringer feeding
the possibly-toxic squishy food to the Keira.

A new horror descends upon the palace

What in the name of all that is unholy is this???

Here is what my spies and I have been able to figure out so far:

1. It is called a Keira.
2. It belongs to the Shadowbringer and her manservant, Jon.
3. It is not furry enough to be a cat, nor does it have a tail, but it is much too small to be a person.
4. It has apparently been mistaken for a god or some sort of royalty from the way the One, the Shadowbringer, and Jon all cater to it.
5. Katherine likes it, so it is obviously evil.
6. It grabbed my fur in one of its little fists and wouldn't let go.

Also, it is apparently a girl, as evidenced by the
dress and the squeaky voice.

I have informed the One that another invasion of the palace by the Keira will not be tolerated. I don't think she was listening to me, though. For some reason she felt it was more important to hold the Keira up and help it repeatedly turn the hallway lights on and off. Any creature that finds such a pointless activity interesting is obviously either broken or up to some diabolical scheme. If it's the latter, I shall put a swift end to it.

Clara keeps sitting on me.

Have you ever had a cow sit on you?

Just take a moment and imagine it.

Seriously. Take a moment. I'll wait.

There. Now you're getting the picture. 

It is a singularly unpleasant experience and one I shall not stand for.

Why anyone would even consider allowing a cow into a palace is beyond me.

I hate Clara.

Yes, the cow and the others are fine, too.

It was brought to my attention that I failed to inform my loyal subjects that Clara the Cow, Fairbanks, and Katherine all survived the siege as well. I can't imagine why that would be relevant to anyone, but consider this your notification. They're fine, okay? Everyone survived.

We'll just call this the "Who Cares?" segment of the blog.

The siege is over!

Praise Me! The Contractor's siege has ended, and Nick and I are both still alive!

You lose this round, rodents!!

Nick and I have been in hiding for years [Editor's Note: Closer to four months, but I have to concur with Nora's perception on this one.]. It's hard to believe there's even a world to return to.

I know many of you were concerned. Perhaps you even speculated that I might be dead. I'm pleased to inform you that I am very much alive and well.

Like Anne Frank, I remained hidden away, sometimes starving and terrified, but always elegant and gracious [Editor's Note: Nora has been talking about Anne Frank a lot over the past months, but she doesn't seem to have much of a grasp on who Frank was or what happened to her.], even though my subjects were casting about for answers, because I knew my survival was critical

And now the day has come to emerge victorious. The Contractor did not find us, and he was ultimately forced to rebuild the sections of the palace he destroyed while he sought us out. As an added bonus, he apparently couldn't remember what the palace looked like before, because it doesn't resemble the original at all.

The Contractor attack continues.

Yesterday was Day 5 of the onslaught. We huddle together in the basement, listening to the Contractor's fury above. So far, I don't think he is aware that Nick and I are still in the palace, thank Me. If he knew, he undoubtedly would have stopped searching for us upstairs. He has now destroyed most of the walls and even some of the floor and ceiling on the first floor.

Fairbanks, who is smarter than all my other minions put together, has discovered a secret passageway out of the basement and has attempted to escape and bring back help several times. Unfortunately, the Contractor has found him each time and returned him to the basement to spy on the rest of us. Fairbanks has been loyal and has not given up Nick's and my position. I must remember to reward him when this is all over.

We thought that the One was seeking assistance each day while we hid, since she is always gone before the Contractor arrives and does not return until he is gone, but I am beginning to suspect that she is just going to work. It should not take this long for her to rally an army to come to our aid.

It occurs to me that perhaps the Contractor is afraid of the One, and if she were to just stay at the palace all day, he would not show up. This theory is being tested today - the One did not get up and leave this morning, and so far the Contractor has not appeared. If this is the case, we're going to abscond with Katherine's food, under the assumption that if Katherine starves to death, the One will be forced to stay home and grieve for at least a year. The One is foolishly naive when it comes to recognizing how awful Katherine truly is.

I send this message out into the world in the hopes that someone will read it and come to our aid. If it goes on much longer, the palace will be completely destroyed and my position will be found out. For the sake of the realm, we cannot allow the rodents to win. And, by the realm, I mean me.

The palace is under attack, and I have been forced to hide with Katherine and a cow.

Yesterday, the rodents sent a horrific monster called a "Contractor" to attack the palace. It ate all the bricks around the fireplace and smashed numerous holes in the walls surrounding the kitchen.

RIP bricks around the fireplace.
Sorry Contractors find you so tasty.

Fortunately, we knew it was coming, thanks to some fine spy work by Fairbanks, who captured a rodent informant and forced him to reveal the rebel army's plans.

Unfortunately, my stupid brother Nick accidentally murdered the informant shortly afterwards, leaving us with one less informant and a body to bury.

RIP rodent informant.
Sorry my stupid brother Nick is such a clumsy oaf.

Fortunately, we had enough information to know exactly when the Contractor would be arriving, so we were able to hide in the basement before it arrived.

Unfortunately, I was not able to convince the One that it was only critical to protect the royal members of the household (myself and my stupid brother Nick), so I had to spend the entire day in the basement with Katherine and Clara the cow.

Fortunately, the One left extra food down there with us, or we undoubtedly would have starved to death (and by we, I mean myself and Nick).

Unfortunately, Fairbanks was also trapped in the basement with us, so he was unable to vanquish the Contractor.

Fortunately, Fairbanks is working on a plan to escape through a secret hatch in the basement door. It's currently locked, but he believes he can find a way around it. When he does, he promises his first priority will be to amass an army and end the Contractor's reign of terror. It's a little hard for me to believe this, since his first task when he gets outside is usually to pee on the exterior wall, nibble on some grass, and take a nap, but he's our only hope, so I must take him at his word.

Until then, we must all huddle in the basement like rodents, which is obviously their diabolical intent.