We is problematic.

Because typing is a menial task suited only for those who are not of noble birth, I shall be dictating my blog to my steward, whom I shall refer to forthwith as “The One Who Types,” or “The One” for short.

However, I am concerned that because The One is recording my words, a person of lesser intelligence could theoretically and incorrectly conclude that when I refer to myself as “we,” as is appropriate for someone who is royal like myself, I am referring collectively to myself and The One. 

This misunderstanding, although potentially understandable based upon the grammatical confusion of using a plural pronoun to refer to a singular queen, would be unacceptable in this case. First, the One is hardly intelligent enough to write a blog of her own. And second, attributing my words to a commoner would be an act of treason. 

I certainly can’t include a disclaimer at the end of every blog stating that The One is not a member of the “we” to whom I regularly refer. Therefore, I shall henceforth refer to myself in the singular. If this causes you distress, I recommend you remember which of us is the queen and, thus, which of us has the right to refer to herself in any way she chooses. Because she is the queen. And she is I. Or me.

The next person who tells me how to use pronouns shall be beheaded. 

The queen has spoken.