Holidays that aren't about me are stupid.

Aside from the celebration of the month of my birth and regular celebrations of my reign as benevolent ruler, there is no reason to have other holidays. When holidays arrive, the One leaves the palace for overnight visits elsewhere and spends money on things that aren't for me. Today she spent over an hour vacuuming not just the floors, but my throne (which humans apparently call a sofa), which I'm sure is somehow related.

I made it clear last year that we do not care for holidays and that they are not something that ought to be repeated, but here they are again. I thought we were going to get a reprieve this year; we saw no signs of holidays in the palace all month. But it was all a ruse. The box of wrapping paper appeared the other night, and everyone in the palace groaned in collective displeasure.

The One is a terrible gift-wrapper. She means well, but she tends to put bows on in stupid places and add tape where it's not needed while leaving other areas that clearly need tape gaping open. I told her that, if she's going to insist on participating in this holiday nonsense, she must allow me to assist her. She let me help wrap the remaining presents, but I don't think she was taking any of my advice seriously.

Pathetic.

She also doesn't get the whole gift-receiving concept. I understand that this could be because, technically, the only one in the palace who should receive gifts is me. If I feel someone else is deserving of a gift, it is within my power to bestow such an honor, but that decision should be mine to make. Others fail to understand this rule, though, and often see fit to furnish the One with little tokens to demonstrate how much they appreciate her efforts in making it possible for me to share my wisdom with them.


Anyway, the Blonde One intended to purchase the fourth season of Justified (Fairbanks's favorite show) on DVD for the One, and even left her house in bad weather while suffering from a cold to do so, only to find out the One had stopped on her way home from work and bought the DVDs for herself.

Now, I ask you: what kind of a moron does something like that? Four days before a holiday? When everyone knows she's been coveting said item and even put it on her wish list, like, a year before it was even released? Honestly, it's the kind of thing I'd expect Katherine to do.

I appreciate the fact that she feeds me and brushes me and occasionally types my blog for me, but sometimes the One is just an idiot.