Abandonment is cruel and far too usual. The authorities have been alerted.

In previous years, the One hosted Oscar Weekend festivities at the palace, which meant a minion (whom I shall simply refer to as S because he is Katherine's favorite, and I hate Katherine) visited the palace for the entire weekend. Everyone stayed in, ate tons of food, and delivered an appropriate amount of attention to me.

LAST year, the One disappeared for the entire weekend, leaving me and Nick (and the other minions, but I don't really care about them) to fend for ourselves. No special holiday food. No extra attention. Just an empty house.

Now I understand the same thing is going to happen THIS year!

A few weeks ago, the One left us to starve for days [Editor's Note: I was gone for one night.] while she went off on some Valentine's Day date. NOW she plans to abandon us AGAIN. I am not pleased. Not one bit.

I'm going to start hoarding food now, so when everyone else
starts to starve, I will still have nourishment.

The Queen has spoken.